Libido has Disappeared

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I still find my boyfriend unbelievably attractive… I just don’t want to be intimate with him. We’ve been going through some stressful events in our relationship, we haven’t been able to spend time together like we used to, and we’ve been arguing (or at least discussing more serious things). I’m concerned as to what this means for us. I want to enjoy sex with him again, but for now it just makes me feel used and dirty. What is going on? And what can I do to fix it?

A: There is an old saying: “Men are willling whenever they are able. Women are able whenever they are willing.” The way to fix the situation is to fix the things you are arguing about. If you feel respected and loved, your body will probably respond to him again.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie




Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 Sep 2012

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Libido has Disappeared. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 6, 2015, from


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