Pantyhose Fetish is Out of Control

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

As far as I can remember I have been easily aroused by women wearing pantyhose. At the age of about 14 or 15 i started wearing pantyhose and masturbating with them. At the time i was ashamed to tell my girlfriend at the time about it. I continued this up until about 19 or 20, when i finally had a girlfriend who i told about my fetish. i thought that by sharing this with my significant other at the time that it would help but it did not. i would just want it more and more.

now I am in a long term relationship with a woman that i love . I have told her about my fetish and how i masturbate with her pantyhose and she said that she did not have a problem with it. She wears pantyhose for me rather frequently because she knows that i really like them. Even still i have cheated on her with a ex-girlfriend just because I wanted to see how a certain type of pantyhose on my ex would look. we did not have vagina sex ,but we did engage in sexual acts.

i feel bad for two reasons : 1. is that i cheated and 2. the ex girlfriend that i had my pantyhose encounter with i really don’t want to have anything to do with her but just with my fetish.

My obsession has really intensified to the point that i am doing more to achieve a stronger orgasm. Recently I had started to look for more ways to achieve a bigger orgasm, which has left me morally conflicted. I really feel like my fetish is out of control. In general my fetish for pantyhose has lead me to do immoral things that i would not do unless pantyhose are involved. i need help and want advice on how should i tackle this.

A: You were right to write. When a fetish is on runaway like this, it interferes with a person’s ability to be true to their own moral code and to function in life. You are certainly at that point. You are not alone. Therapists regularly work with people like yourself.

Orgasm is a very powerful reinforcer. It’s readily available. It isn’t expensive. It feels terrific. Doing a behavior (in your case masturbating with pantyhose) can become more and more compelling because the person craves the “reinforcer” of the orgasm. It’s become like an addiction. Crack addicts tell me the same kinds of things. Although they know it’s bad for them, the anticipation of the high is so compelling (and the high feels so good), they can’t stop themselves.

You need a therapist, not a letter. You already know that you can’t handle this on your own. I encourage you to seek out a therapist for practical advice and for the support you are going to need to move away from what has become a destructive habit instead of just a way to add a little spice to your sex life.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 19 Sep 2012

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Pantyhose Fetish is Out of Control. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/09/19/pantyhose-fetish-is-out-of-control/