I’ve started thinking of my past life and how naive I was. Then horrible memories have come back to me. When I was around 9 going to 10 I was molested by a teenager. It made me cry almost thinking how stupid I was by listening to the molester telling me what to do and threatening to tell my parents what he did. I thought I would get in trouble so I let him do what ever. It happened for almost 2 years and I kept it secret. I was even more frightened that he said he planned to bring his friends. Then when I was in middle school, we moved and I finally told. The officers didn’t do anything because there wasn’t enough evidence.. I felt stupid for not telling and to this day, knowing he’s still out there.. I wished I was strong. This really affected me making me more naive, confused, and depressed as the years went on. I have felt sexually attracted to older men wanting them to touch me. I was even willing to risk my life by walking around my neighborhood hoping I would get captured and raped. Then I met my ex boyfriend. He changed me in a way but wasn’t what I thought we would be. I believed in my ex boyfriend and allowed him to have sex with me whenever he asked and I fell in love. It didn’t end too well.. I changed after that situation and I hate my old self right now.. please give me words of advice..
A: I’m so sad to hear of your traumatic experience. I want you to know that your responses to being molested as a child are not uncommon. This person took advantage of you. Yes, you were naïve at 9 years old and all 9-year-olds should be naïve. Of course you were scared by the older teenage boy who was threatening you. I am so glad that you moved and you disclosed the abuse so you could begin healing from it. Please seek help so you don’t continue to put yourself in dangerous situations. For a full answer watch the video below.
Take good care of yourself!
Julie Hanks, LCSW
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 17 Sep 2012
Hanks, J. (2012). [Video] I Feel Ashamed about Being Molested as a Child. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 16, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/09/17/video-i-feel-ashamed-about-being-molested-as-a-child/