I Don’t Know What’s Wrong with Me
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, from the age or 12 I have been unhappy, I was bullied as a child and have had weight issues all my life. But I don’t blame that, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me! I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 13, I have attempted a few times and self harmed since I was 13. I have mood swings where one minute I’m happy and the next I just don’t feel like living, the unhappy moods are so much more frequent. I have been in a relationship for the past 3 years and 7 months. I love him more than anything, when we were dirt together I was so happy! But in the past year and a half I’ve been just so unhappy. My boyfriend means well and I know he loves me, but I’m always worried and anxious he’s going to leave me. I don’t know how to explain really in so many little words. Basically I always feel unhappy I could say depressed, coz I have suicidal thoughts, self-harming is the only way I feel like I can release my anger. I have tried stopping for my boyfriend but I’ve had a few hiccups, I know he hates it. I’m always anxious about everything, my family, boyfriend. Mainly friends and boyfriend. I just need help because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t have anything to be unhappy about, really. I don’t know if I need professional help. I’ve tried speaking to a doctor befOre but she wanted to tell my parents and I was only 15 at the time and I didn’t want to put more pain on them than I already had, ( my mum is disabled and she will live past age 60) and I love my parents more than anything. Im having a crap time with my boyforend ATM but I can’t seem to let him go even though he doesn’t treat me how I want to be treated. Please can you help me. I don’t want to seem like a whinny teenager because I know there are people out there with so much worse problems than mine, Im probably wasting your time, just if you have 2 mins to spear, please help me.
A: I have more than two minutes. You deserve more. The problems you are describing come with a struggle that builds resilience. The fact that you have been coping with all of this for such a period of time is a testimony to your deep strength and desire for well-being. So let’s get someone to help you with all of this. Go back to the physician. You are older now and you can have a more frank discussion. Getting your mother involved may not be the worst thing in the world. Sometimes helping others is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Your mom might deeply appreciate the opportunity to help you. Give the physician and your mom a chance to do something to help. As I said in the beginning—you are worth it.
Not everything gets better overnight, but things can get better with the right people to support us. The first thing is to help you feel safe and to help you stop hurting yourself. You need to be on the same team as your helpers.
Tomasulo, D. (2012). I Don’t Know What’s Wrong with Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 6, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/08/19/i-dont-know-whats-wrong-with-me-3/