Hello. I am a 14 year old with asperger’s disorder and I have an average normal family. But when I was younger my real dad ditched me and left me to die out in the rain. When i was younger I cried my eyes out, now the past has taken it’s toll and i feel severely homicidal. I’ve spent years thinking about killing my real dad (I know what he looks like) and other people I hate. I’ve been involved with constant violent incidents at school and at school i’ve been abnormally sadistic. Plus at school i’ve severely injured people in fights and i have no remorse. I don’t care about them, their families or how it will effect their future. All that is on my mind is revenge, break, destroy and fight. I’m 5’8 in height and i’m actually a good fighter… I know very well that good fighting skills combined with a short temper is no good for my mental health! I seek help before I end up tracking down my real dad and wreaking my vengeance upon him. All that runs through my mind is it’s either 1. seek help. OR 2. Kill or be killed. I need help before this gets worse…
A: I vote for option 1: Seek help. You are a young man who has been deeply, deeply hurt. When people’s feelings are very hurt, one common response is to want revenge. But revenge never really helps. It only adds another layer of distress. I think you know that since you wrote to me instead of just going out and exacting revenge.
You have the additional challenge of Aspergers. Sometimes Aspies have a particularly difficult time letting go of an idea, even when it is a bad one.
Unfortunately, I’m not familiar with what services are available in Scotland. I urge you to talk to someone who does. You didn’t mention your mother. If she is in the picture and you trust her, that’s the place to start. Someone at school, a pastor, or your doctor are other resources.
I’d hate to see you do something at 14 that harms others and that would send you into the legal system. You have a long life ahead. Get the help you need so you can have a good one.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 5 Aug 2012
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Help Me Before I Hurt Someone. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/08/05/help-me-before-i-hurt-someone/