Hi, i’m 16 and am not sure what is going on inside my own head. I know I am an anxious person, and in the past I have dealt with self-harm, and depression, though I wasn’t diagnosed with it. Now I feel as if i’m losing control. Parts of me want to be insane, but I feel I wont ever be insane enough to be locked away. Other parts of me worry that I will go insane and never be able to return to normal, whatever that is. My thoughts wander and I struggle to concentrate and remember things. I dont think anybody realizes how much turmoil there is beneath my skin, and I know I need help, but i’m scared to get it. What is wrong with me?
A: Thank you for writing. It takes courage to face this kind of turmoil. I can’t tell you what’s wrong. I don’t have enough information. But I can support you in getting some help.
You live in a city where there are lots of good therapists. Since it’s summer and you probably don’t have access to your school counselor, please ask your primary care physician to make a referral. I assure you that most therapists are kind, helpful people. Although it is of course scary to talk to a virtual stranger about such disturbing thoughts, a therapist is trained to listen, to encourage, and to help.
One way to get over the initial shyness is to bring your letter and this response with you to the first session. Reading it will help the therapist know where to start.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 3 Aug 2012
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Losing my Grip. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 27, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/08/03/losing-my-grip/