Shattered Hopes and Dreams

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I had my dream and aspirations regarding my career for so many years which all got shattered due to my inability to pass the competitive exam. The aim which i always cherished didn’t fructify …Now i am in a state of despondency, frustration,hopelessness.Now i feel as if there is no purpose or motive of my life….

I am in my home along with my parents without any job….As i didn’t get the vocation i wanted…other things seems meaningless to me and moreover i don’t feel like joining any other sector…..The things which i always aimed at for the last 20 years were never achieved……(as far as my academics and my career is concerned).Each day seems like a day of burden and sorrow…i don’t like to talk to anybody nor i am able to enjoy with anyone because each time my failures crops up in back of my mind….My girlfriend too deserted me

Please help me how to come out of this despondent situation

regards

A: You do have my sympathy but I’m going to give you a little “tough love.” I think you are having a tantrum. You didn’t get what you wanted so now you are taking your mind and education and creativity “home.” It’s as if you are telling the world that because you didn’t get what you wanted, you aren’t going to contribute at all. I happen to think you – and the world – deserve better.

Please – get yourself an appointment with a career counselor. I understand you didn’t get the career you wanted. But the same training that you did so diligently for so long probably also prepares you for other opportunities. There may well be related options that you don’t even know about. Sometimes, people find there are even better ways to use their training. You won’t know until you talk with someone who has expertise in such matters. You certainly aren’t going to find a basis for success by sitting in your room feeling sorry for yourself.

I hope you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get motivated instead. Only you can turn this situation around. Find a therapist if you need some support. Please don’t let a setback this year become a basis for a lifetime of failure.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 19 Jul 2012

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Shattered Hopes and Dreams. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/07/19/shattered-hopes-and-dreams/