Broken Communication

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I am 20, my love is 25. We have always been very happy together, and been described as ‘cut from the same cloth,’ and our relationship is very sacred and we protect it dearly.
Recently, he has encountered some serious problems (living situation, job etc.) that have taken a toll on him, and he has really shut himself off from me. Also, I am very easily irritated over insignificant things and lash out at him or brush him off as if I am not interested in him, when that’s not the case at all. Our relationship has always been more good than bad, but it seems like lately, it’s really falling apart. Our communication is very broken, and I would just really like to get back on the same page with him. We were once so happy. We’re planning our future together, and I don’t believe that we can enter our future if we can’t get through the present. Please shine some light on this problem. Thank you, so much.

A: Couples go through phases when they are closer and further apart. The research shows that it is being able to share your vulnerabilities with each other, celebrate each other’s accomplishments and share exciting and stimulating times together are the keys to a long and loving relationship. Job changes and living arrangements can throw off a couple’s rhythm. My encouragement is to assess your relationship along these dimensions. If the two of you can’t seem to correct it on your own you may want to try the find help tab at the top of the page to find a couples counselor near you.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 12 Jul 2012

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2012). Broken Communication. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 25, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/07/12/broken-communication/