What Do I Do Now?

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I almost don’t know where to begin. My wife and I have had a rocky relationship as of late, but it recently took a turn for the worse… a big turn for the worse. I recently had a discussion with her about my leaving. She responded by telling me that she is so disgusted with how I’ve treated my step son, who’s now 17 years old, that she would’ve kicked me out a long time ago if it weren’t for our son (who’s 7 years old and diagnosed with autism). She then asked me if I ever cared for my stepson; for which I answered honestly in saying that I did care for him, but I didn’t love him. We concluded the discussion with her telling me that she hates me (with quite a disgusted look on her face I might add) and that now she doesn’t feel bad about it.

Now, I have not left. I’m the sole bread-winner in the household so all my income goes to household necessities and expenses. I need her cooperation in order to leave as painlessly as possible for the family, but she doesn’t wish to cooperate. I don’t know what to do from here.

A: I am sorry to hear of these difficulties and would strongly recommend legal counsel, perhaps with a divorce mediation specialist. These are people who specialize in helping others untangle their lives. It sounds like this would be the best way to go.

If you think there is a chance — or if you would like someone to hear the two of you out — you can use a couples therapist. He or she may be able to help you sort through the issues and let you each go separate ways.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 11 Jul 2012

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2012). What Do I Do Now?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 31, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/07/11/what-do-i-do-now/