Should I Worry about My Husband’s Fetish?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker


MY HUSBAND IS A CHRISTIAN MAN AND HE HAS A STOCKING FETISH. WE ARE OPEN ABOUT IT. I WEAR THEM FOR HIM ALL THE TIME. WE HAVE VERY ACTIVE SEX LIFE AND GREAT MARRIAGE. I JUST HATE THAT HE LOOKS UP STOCKING SITES ON THE INTERNET. NOTHING DIRTY JUST WOMAN IN STOCKINGS AND SAVES CERTAIN PICS. IT IS LIKE A GAME TO HIM. MORE OF THE SEARCH THING REALLY. I AM OPEN TO LOOK AT WHATEVER I WANT, I KNOW HE DOES IT. IT JUST MAKES ME A LITTLE UNEASY. SHOULD A CHRISTIAN MAN WANT TO LOOK AT THIS. HE REALLY, HONESTLY ONLY CLICKS IT AND BACK OFF. HE NEVER GETS TURNED ON BY THEM. IT IS LIKE AN ART COLLECTOR LOOKING AT ANICE PICTURE OF ART. SHOULD I WORRY OR JUST LET IT GO…

A: I think you should let it go. Your husband has what’s called a benign paraphilia. (He is turned on by an inanimate and unusual object.) I don’t believe that he isn’t aroused by the pictures in some way. Apparently, he uses the sexual pleasure he gets from looking at them to enhance the sex life the two of you enjoy. You oblige by getting into the game with him.

I can’t answer your question about the relevance of Christianity since I’m not in the ministry. But I can tell you that this kind of behavior crosses all religious, ethnic, and class lines.

Here’s what I think: The pictures he enjoys aren’t pornographic. He isn’t hiding things from you, Your sex life sounds like it’s in great shape. His interest isn’t jeopardizing your marriage. In fact, it enhances it. This isn’t worth getting distressed about.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 9 Jul 2012

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Should I Worry about My Husband’s Fetish?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 19, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/07/09/should-i-worry-about-my-husbands-fetish/