How Crazy Am I?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I really like to know how crazy I am. Here is my story. I’ve been abused all my life. My father was emotional and mentally abusive to my mom and I. I had to watch my dad try to kill my mom a few times. So I never had a father. So my brother become the most father figure I had. Then he raped me, and the sexual abused went on for about a mouth and a half. My sisters ended up raising me after that. I always had trust issues so I never really had any friends at all. So I started to talk to myself. And I feel as if like the person answering back is one of the only person I can trust. I am going to counseling and I was diagnosis with PTSD, so Ive been taking Zoloft. However when I get drunk all I remember is passing out on my bed. But then my roommates and neighbors say I was up acting fine, and hanging out. There only has been a few times where I wake up somewhere, where I didnt know how I got there. And the times that that has happened my roommates said that I passed out for a few secondes. When I talk to myself I will look in a mirror and I always feel as if I wasn’t looking back at myself but at a different person as if their person in the mirror could reach out and touch me and if there is no mirror then I will look back in for. IE if i was talking I will look to the right and if the second person my head will look to the left. Is this common for people how were abused like me. Is this just apart of my PTSD?

A: You aren’t “crazy.” You are a traumatized person who is responding to a long history of abuse in one of the ways that people do. Please take your letter to your therapist. If your therapist doesn’t know about these symptoms, she can’t be as helpful as either of you would like. What you are describing might be consistent with Dissociative Identity Disorder but I don’t have enough information to make that call. Your therapist does.

I’m very glad you are taking care of yourself by working with a therapist. You deserve to sort these things out and to have a much happier future.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 4 Jul 2012

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). How Crazy Am I?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/07/04/how-crazy-am-i/