Feeling Like An Outcast Because I Am Mixed Race

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I am 19. For my entire life I have felt like an outcast because I am mixed race. I have always lived in areas where Whites were the majority. I have been treated badly nearly everywhere I have gone, Including my house. My mom and her boyfriend seem pretty racist. It really doesn’t make any sense because she had me with an Afro-Caribbean man. Anyway, For as long as I can remember I have wanted to live in England. Mainly because I know that it is more diverse and that the English are generally more tolerant. I also know that ‘mixed race’ is an accepted ethnic group there. My question is: How can I go about this? I feel the only way to escape the abuse and persecution and to preserve my sanity is to leave this country. Help please!

A. You may feel like an outcast in your circle of family and friends but in reality you’re in the majority. For the first time, the Census Bureau reports that 50.4 percent of our nation’s population younger than age 1 were minorities. The Census Bureau defines minorities as anyone who is not a single race. The President of the United States is of mixed race. Like it or not, the United States is a mixed race society.

The people with whom you interact seem to be intolerant of your mixed race status. That is a sign of their ignorance. I don’t think moving is the answer because you will likely encounter ignorance and intolerance to one degree or another, no matter where you live. Ignorance and intolerance are unfortunate shortcomings of human nature.

At 19, you may not be able to move but at some point you will leave your family home. You may not have a choice now but later in life you will be able to choose where you live.

I understand that this may seem difficult but try to embrace who you are. A characteristic of healthy psychological development, according to Abraham Maslow, is accepting yourself without shame or apology. Maslow describes the fundamental characteristics of healthy psychological development. You may want to read Maslow’s work concerning self-actualization. It could help to guide your thinking with regard to psychological development. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Jun 2012

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2012). Feeling Like An Outcast Because I Am Mixed Race. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/06/26/feeling-like-an-outcast-because-i-am-mixed-race/