My sister who was 11 at the time introduced my brother and sisters to sex as kids. Without getting into to much details . After she introduced it when she was 11 I was 6.my brother 4..it ended up lasting for years between my brother and sister..more my brother till about the age of 11.. There wasn’t any penetration but other things.
Im not sure what was going on with me or if I was just an abuser .but I ened up doing it to my other brother when I was 12. It happened once and i knew it was wrong after it happend..years of not talking about it tore me up inside. As I cut and tried to kill myslef multiple times..hurt myself in many ways to punosh myslef. Im diagnose with bpd, psychosis, scizoidoffecttive and pstd now. I was just wondering if you can tell me why i would hurt someone i cared about so much and if there was something not right in my head or am i a bad person?
A. People who are sexually abused as children very often act out the behaviors that they have experienced. Your sister may have herself been sexually abused. Children typically don’t have the capacity to fully comprehend what is right or what is wrong. If they are being sexually abused then they may believe that type of behavior is appropriate.
Proof that you are not a “bad person” is that even at such a young age, you realized that your behavior was wrong. You felt guilty about it and still do. Someone who is a “bad person” would not feel guilty about their behavior. They would have no remorse and they would not be concerned about the person that they may have harmed.
I would highly recommend counseling to help you deal with the effects of your sexual abuse. Please take care.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 22 Jun 2012
Randle, K. (2012). Sexual Abuse as Children. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/06/22/sexual-abuse-as-children/