Perplexed about Friendships

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I am a university student. I am a very active person socially but I have a close group of friends (2 guys, 2 girls) who I trust completely. Out of the 2 girls, one of them has been extremely close to me ever since I’ve met her,I’ve spent lots of time with her, but off late (past 6 months) she has been seemingly detached from me and this hurts me a lot. She seems to prefer spending more time with the other 2 close guy friends of mine rather than me. I am completely fine with that. We converse completely normally, but I can feel that we are not as close as we were before. I am confused as to why, I keep thinking it might be cause of something ive done but I honestly haven’t done anything at all. Would you be able to advise as to why she may be like this?

A. I do not have enough information about the potential problem to determine what may have happened.

The right way to approach this situation is to communicate your concerns with your friend. Explain that you feel that there has been a change in the interaction. It is possible that there has been a miscommunication. It is also possible that your friend does not realize that she is being distant. Without many more details, it is difficult to know what is happening.

Don’t assume that you have done something wrong. It may have nothing to do with you. You and your friend are growing. You may grow closer or further apart. It is important that you both grow in ways that are healthy for each of you, even if it means that you will grow apart.

You may also want to consider talking to a mental health professional at the college counseling center. He or she may be able to gather more specific details about the situation and give you more direct advice about how to approach your friend. I hope this helps. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 14 Jun 2012

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2012). Perplexed about Friendships. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/06/14/perplexed-about-friendships/