I am a 21 year old male and for as long as i can remember i get so mad i break everything i own nomater how valueable it is. Ive been in psych counceling, tharapy, and on more meds than i can count ever since i was 13. Ive been diagnosed with ADHD, Major depressive disorder, and anxiety. I feel scared all the time and cant really go anywhere or do anything with people, I dont know why but im scared of pretty much everything. Its extreamly hard to focus on anything and if things dont go how my mind thinks its gonna go i pretty much break down and have no idea what to do. I dont really have any friends and cant get a job because i fear talking to people or approaching people i dont know. Life for me always feels like 1 step foward and 2 steps back. I was in counceling for about 6 years and as stated been on so many differeny medications. Nothing ever felt like it took the pain or fear away. Im tired of living in what i would describe as “a personal war within myself” It feels like i can never let myself be happy. I just dont know what to do anymore ive been living with this hell for my whole life. I wasnt abused or anything like that. I had a good childhood with caring loving parents. I was an only child by the way. When I was 18 I went to jail for getting into a fight and while i was incarsarated I lost my grandfather who was my idol in life, the person i cared about most. Im sure that didnt help my mental health state. Even 3 years later i still lay awake at night sometimes thinking about it. I feel alone all the time and thats my biggest fear in life is being alone, i feel alone all the time. When im by myself at home i feel extreamly depressed and lonley. I feel like if i had someone with me life would be easier. Im a nice person who pretty much is always trying to help people out but for some reason people dont want to be around me. I just really need some REAL advice, seems like everybody tells me the same things to do with my anger, depression, and anxiety. I just need some real direction. thank you for your time.
A. It is important to realize that psychological pain can be eliminated from your life. It’s often a matter of finding the right therapist and combination of medications. You have been in therapy for a number of years but it does not sound as though you have found the right therapist to help you. I would recommend continuing to try.
How will you know if you’re being helped in therapy? You should feel as though the therapist “gets it.” You should leave every session feeling a little better. You should feel a connection with your therapist. You should feel that the therapist understands you.
It is also important to understand that therapy can take years to be fully effective. Don’t give up. Many of the problems that individuals are dealing with are complex and may stem from childhood.
Two self-help books that I would recommend include The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck and Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl. I consider these books to be timeless in that they contain a great deal of enduring wisdom and address a wide variety of problems including anger, depression and anxiety.
I would also recommend that you consider an anger management program. There may be one in your community. Many are highly effective. You also might want to consider an anger management workbook. I hope that you’re able to find the help you are looking for. Please take care.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Jun 2012
Randle, K. (2012). Chronic Anger & Anxiety. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 18, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/06/08/chronic-anger-anxiety/