I have been seeing this guy for about a week now… we have been talking for about a month or so, but just began seeing eachother. Sometimes he says strange and impulsive things, but last night was by far the worst. I don’t even remember what we were talking about, but he said- “I want to cut you, rub you with honey and let ants cover you. I want to hang you upside down and burn your feet.” I was shocked I even thought he was joking. He didn’t really explain why he said it, but I assure you it was in no way related to what we were talking about. I asked him why he said it- I have never and still did not feel threatened by him. He joked, “That’s how I killed my last girlfriend. Well, not really.” I don’t know what to think, because he has always seemed like such a great man and I enjoy his company very much. I don’t know what to do. Is there any way he could have an impluse disorder, or he could be joking?
A: Run, don’t walk away from this. I have no idea if he has an impulse disorder or if he was joking. It doesn’t matter. Such things are nothing to joke about. It’s a big red flag that something may be seriously wrong. Do you really want to go through life wondering if the person you’re with wants to hurt you? With only a week invested in this relationship, there is little to lose by throwing this fish back into the sea.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 May 2012
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Boyfriend Described Desire to Kill Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 5, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/05/29/boyfriend-described-desire-to-kill-me/