I’m Very Lonely

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I have been feeling very lost the past few weeks and do not know what to do. My relationship with my girlfriend and family is getting more and more stressful and I don’t know what to do.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years now and we have not had the best relationship. She is very jealous and all of my friends were female and she got rid of all of them. So I’m left with no friends. She also doesn’t like my sister who used to be my best friend and I have turned rather cold towards her because of it. I am an angry and bitter person because of her jealousy and although I have never cheated on her her constant accusations have made me feel like one. But lately she has started hanging out with friends and being a little more free with how I spend my time. However I feel like I’m having separation anxiety from this. I’m used to spending every moment with her and now I have no one to hang out with but my mom because I have no friends. I’m very lonely and would love to make friends but I have always had a hard time approaching people or becoming friends with people. I’ve especially found it hard to make guy friends and those are the only ones my girlfriend will allow. I feel guys may not talk to me because I am a little more feminine than most guys. But I’m not sure. I’m just confused as what I should do. I feel lonely and that nothing seems to be working right in my life.

A: I am glad you found the courage to speak up about your girlfriend and your anxiety. It sounds like there are a few things going on that have to do with your relationships with people and having difficulty making, expanding, limiting or keeping connections. I would suggest that since it is affecting you with your girlfriend, your family and your friends that the best approach could be group therapy. I would encourage your to find a local therapist (the find help tab at the top will do it) and look for someone who spcializes in groups. You may also want to look for someone in the American Group Psychotherapy Association.

Group therapy can help you with the anxiety you feel from wanting separation, the desire to improve your relationships, and the desire to balance between your needs and the needs of others. I think it will give you the most direct help in getting what you want.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 May 2012

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2012). I’m Very Lonely. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/05/25/im-very-lonely/