I Cut When Feeling Unloved

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Well, my parents are pretty decent folks. They love me and deep down I know they do but sometimes in certain moments I don’t feel like they do. I sometimes wonder if it’s because I’m a teenager or if I really do have some psych issue. Even when the evidence that my family does love me should outweigh the the feeling that they dont, it isn’t enough.

They don’t constantly put me down but when they do, and it isn’t often, I feel like no one loves, and that their world would just keep turning if I died on the spot. So every time they critize me, I go into this dark place where I want to cut myself and die. Luckily I have a low threshold for pain so my cuts are never too deep.

I feel like I shouldn’t just want to die every time someone tells something bad. And actually it’s only when members of my family do it. Friends, I don’t care. Family does it and I cut and hope that I bleed to death. I don’t want to feel like my world is gonna come crashing down everytime I get a put-down, but no matter how often I tell myself I’m not going to cry or cut or wish death upon myself, I have to do all three. I can’t seem to control feeling like I’m in a bottomless pit everytime My pride gets a little bruised. Please help.

A. You cut yourself when your family criticizes you. You may feel as though they are criticizing you as a person, rather than just your behavior. In your view, when your family criticizes you, they are in essence saying that you’re a bad person or that they don’t love you. That, in all likelihood, is not the message your family is attempting to convey.

I would encourage you to speak to your family about how you feel. My sense of the situation is that you are misinterpreting what they are saying. Discussing the matter can help to clarify the situation. I understand that it may be difficult to discuss such sensitive matters but it still needs to be done. It is healthy to discuss your feelings, especially those that are causing you significant distress.

Cutting is always a sign that someone is suffering and that help is required. When speaking with your family, you should also inquire about the possibility of seeing a therapist. A therapist could greatly assist you in learning more effective problem solving skills. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 May 2012

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2012). I Cut When Feeling Unloved. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/05/21/i-cut-when-feeling-unloved/