Q: I need help on this issue. I feel myself getting jealous all the time with my husband, and I don’t want to be like that. My last two relationships were a disaster. my kids father cheated on me our whole 15 yr relationship and 4 kids later. i didn’t know he was cheating until towards the end. then my next relationship he went to Florida and brought someone back with him and they started living together right away. that was a 3yr relationship i had with him. but i always think my husband is cheating on me or talking to someone. its like I don’t want him going anywhere without me. I love him and I don’t want to be like that with him, hes never giving me a reason to think this….. please help me…

A: While it’s common for unresolved hurt from past betrayal to bring out insecurities in a current relationship, ironically, it may end up pushing your husband away if you don’t resolve your past hurts. When you bring up your jealousy with your husband, make sure that you own that it is your past, not him, that is the problem. Please meet with a therapist to address the underlying emotions that are feeding your jealousy and lack of trust. Thanks so much for writing in. Watch the video below to hear my complete answer.

Take good care of yourself and your relationship!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 May 2012

APA Reference
Hanks, J. (2012). [Video] Afraid My Husband Will Cheat On Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/05/07/afraid-my-husband-will-cheat-on-me/