Boyfriend Won’t Talk to Me

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

This week on thursday my boyfriend was talking to his friend and then came to me and said that he needed a break but still wanted to be my boyfriend. Then i said sure ok. But then later he started talking again to his friend then told me he liked another girl and he said he wanted a break and i got confused angry and hurt. I was upset that he said he liked someone else and so in return i got angry and a little jelous and i said that i like someone else too who is a person he doesnt like and i saw that he got very upset. But then i told my friends i was angry and thats why i said that i didnt mean it.

My friend talked to him and told me that he seemed to be very sad. When i got home after school i was so sad and i started to cry. The next day we talked about it in the morning and he told me he was joking he doesnt like another girl he only likes me then i cooled down and said but why would you joke around like that? then he asked me if i still liked someone else and i said yes i said yes because i didnt know if he was lieing to me or not. then for the rest of the day he has been ignoring me and wont talk to me.

His friend told me he not talking to me because i said i like someone else. But then later my friend talked to my boyfriend and he said the same to her but then she told him i was sad and he said he doesnt care. when i heard that it broked my heart. I cried again because i didnt know if we were still dating or not. i want to talk to him and fix our problem and tell him the truth that i dont like anyone else but how can i do that if he wont talk to me? I am very upset about this because i really like him and want a good relationship with him but hes been confusing me lately so i dont know what to think anymore. I think he might talk to me next monday but im not sure.

A: You’ve just learned a hard lesson in the importance of being honest. At 16, it’s time for you to stop this kind of game-playing with someone’s feelings. Manipulations and lies are not the way to build a trusting relationship. Using go-betweens to communicate only confuses issues even more. He’s not the one confusing you. Your childish tactics have backfired big time and you really have only yourself to blame. He won’t talk to you because he has the sense to not be involved with someone whose words he can’t trust.

I’m not sure you can turn this around. You may have to see it as a learning experience.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 20 Apr 2012

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Boyfriend Won’t Talk to Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 27, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/04/20/boyfriend-wont-talk-to-me/