Girlfriend Unexpectedly Left

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

From Romania: I am 52 years old. After 6 years my girlfriend left me for a new boyfriend. The news arrived like lightning!! I can`t accept the painful truth, that she is with a new guy. I still love her.I am very sick, crying easy, anxiety in limbs, in face I feel a deep sadness. It seems she will never come back to me. Her boyfriend is the real man, he has a car, helped my girlfriend to open a fashion-magazine. I am not rich, I have no car. She says once that she was with me 6 years only by regret!!! I felt the contrary, she always sad that she was never loved like by me. What to do?? I can’t see the way out from situation, I live myself in a very deep sadness, my face is blocked by sadness. I take 3 amitryptiline tablet a day, trying to balance my sadness and anxiety. i can’t control my thoughts, they are invading my head, feeling lower and lower. I always thought she never will left me, my whole life was constructed on her, on her daily presence. I find myself lonely, in a strange town, I lived 43 in my natal town. My worst decision of my life brought me here, also for an unhappy relation. Please help me with some kind words and show me the way out from this situation. I am looking forward with great hope to receive an answer soon.

A: What you are feeling is deep and abiding grief. You have not only lost your girlfriend, you have lost the life you thought you would have. There is no shame in grieving this very much like one would grieve a death. A six-year relationship where you loved deeply is worth grieving, regardless of what your ex has to say about it. Please give yourself patience and time to honor your loss and figure out what the next chapter of your life will look like. If you are unhappy where you are, think about how to go back home. I hope there are friends there who will embrace you.

If you can’t function in your daily life after a few weeks, please consider seeking out a grief counselor or a person of faith to help give you some direction. If there isn’t such a person, please do consider one of the online communities. People who are sharing somewhat the same experience are often the most understanding and the most helpful.
I’m very sorry for your loss.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 10 Mar 2012

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Girlfriend Unexpectedly Left. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/03/10/girlfriend-unexpectedly-left/