Can’t Trust Boyfriend

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I’m 43 and have been dating the same man for almost 9 years on and off. The issue is I dont trust him at all, I have caught him lying alot and I just feel he lies more than he is truthful. I have no way of proving this we live almost an hour from eachother. I have been starting to think I need to spy on him to see if he is truthfull. He will go out with friends when we says he is working. He has sent other women emails and had lots of naked pictures of women ( this was a few yrs ago) and he just bruses it off and sayes it has nothing to do with me.
I hate to leave him, I do love him very much but even after all these years he wont even officially be my boyfriend.
I am at my wits end and dont know what to do.
Last night he called me early at 7 pm and said he was going to his parents for dinner and would call back, he never did.
This is a constant thing we talk about 10 minutes a day, mabey.
I need help.

A: Why on earth have you stayed with someone you don’t trust for 9 years? No. You shouldn’t spy on him. You have all the information you need already. He lies. He isn’t respectful of you. He won’t be your boyfriend. Stop wasting your time. Cut this guy loose and make yourself available again. You deserve to find a man who is worthy of your trust and who will love you and cherish you and spend time with you.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 Feb 2012

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Can’t Trust Boyfriend. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/02/25/cant-trust-boyfriend/