Poor Sleep Affects Everything Else

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Where do I start? Well First of all I’ve had sleeping problems ever since i was in year 5 which was when I felt completely crazy and had no idea why but never told anyone. Due to not being able to sleep, I stress out more and get tired way too quickly. I never have dreams and I don’t know why I can’t sleep since it’s been going on for this long there has got to be a real reason behind this.

The other thing is, I’m really lonely … I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 1 year and 3 months now. If you asked him about me He’d tell you I’m absolutely nuts due to the fact that i get crazy mood swings and get mad about nothing way too much even sometimes at my friends. Due to all this, i keep it all bottled up inside me so no one can get hurt because I don’t want to my problem some one else,s burden.

I feel so sick of being alone, I can’t even talk to my boyfriend about problems. He think’s every time I have a problem it’s stupid which makes me feel stupid and like all I do is annoy him. He never even listens to me and does whatever he wants. I cry occasionally because of him and my other social problems. Holiday’s are the worst time of year since even though i have someone, it feels like he’s not even there for me when I really need him. I always feel so lonely and tired but I never sleep so I can’t just sleep on it and forget about.

At night all i do is think and think about the past and all the things I’ve done wrong. All the problems keep me hurting inside but I can’t tell anybody because it’s useless. No one really cares, even if they did listen they would have no answer. What makes me feel worse about my boyfriend is that even though we’ve been together this long he’s never been able to support me when I’m emotional especially if I cry he just get’s mad and doesn’t bother trying to help me.

I have friends but I can’t even talk about them because i don’t feel like I can trust them. All my ex-best friend’s would usually tell their other best friend or their girlfriend or something and then everyone would know. Some people even think I’m a slut just because I’ve had a relationship for this long. I wish i had someone to talk to without them thinking I’m stupid. All through out primary and a little bit now – people have always thought that I was stupid, i try and try but nothing is ever good enough. Not even to my parents … I’ll never be good enough.

Help me, I don’t know what to do about myself and especially my relationship

A: Where you start is with the sleep disorder. When people don’t sleep, they are vulnerable to depression, mood swings, irrational crying and irritability. Please go to your doctor and ask for help with sleep. You might be referred for a “sleep study” to help figure out why you’ve never been able to establish a regular sleep pattern. It could be that you suffer from sleep apnea or some other medical disorder that is making it impossible to get a good night’s sleep. The good news is that it’s possible that a good diagnosis will lead to good treatment — which will lead to good sleep.

As for the relationship: You’re expecting a lot from a 15-year-old boy. You guys got together when you were only a little more than 13. That’s really young to find someone who will also grow into the kind of person who can be a forever love. You are changing. He is changing. It’s part of growing through adolescence. I’m impressed you two have been able to hold a relationship together in spite of your ups and downs and his inability to cope with them. He sounds like a good friend.

I doubt you are stupid. I think never getting enough sleep may make you look like you are. It’s hard to do your best academically or in life if you are tired all the time. For that reason, the priority has to be getting your sleep in order.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Feb 2012

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Poor Sleep Affects Everything Else. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 30, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/02/24/poor-sleep-affects-everything-else/