Therapist Made Matters Worse

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

This was my second visit to my doctor and first visit was good because i told everything that i needed to told her.But now when she listened me she behave differently,i was talking about my husband and she asked horrible question about my sister in law releationship with him. I didn’t react i only talked about my husband.she also unnecessarly doubt about my parents and asked me nonsense crazy question,because of it i hate her.And i felt guilty and sorry towards my relatives.She emotionally abused me.She asked in very shameful manner about my respected family member although i didn’t say anything at that time,i went on innocent way to explain about my mother depression,but when i returned home i felt very sad and angry to the way she treated my innocent reletives.Iam suffering from anxiety disorder and she increases my anxiety to the worst level, iam having migraine and couldn’t sure that i will continue my tharapy with her,her way of treat was changing and her facial expression was not so satisfying.She was not able to addresses my real problem.Iam in confusion and this time is the worst than before ,please i need help,what should i do?I like my psychologist but doesn’t like the way she asked about my family members,she asked about the unreal things which is false by its nature .Iam loosing my peace of mind please help.

A: Thank you for writing. It sounds like your therapy has had a difficult start. The first few sessions are always the time when therapist and client get to know each other and start to figure out how to work well together. I doubt very much that the therapist intended to hurt you or to avoid your problems. Something got lost in your communication with each other.

Since you do like her, I think you should bring your letter to the next session and show it to her. Ask her to help you understand why she was asking the questions she did. See if you can have an honest conversation with her. Tell her clearly how you feel. Often that kind of conversation creates a fresh start. But sometimes it doesn’t. If, after having an open talk, you still feel like this therapist doesn’t understand you, then it only makes sense to try someone else. Every therapist isn’t a match for every client.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 22 Feb 2012

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2012). Therapist Made Matters Worse. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/02/22/therapist-made-matters-worse/