Something Socially Wrong with Me?

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I’m stable. I go to school and get good grades. I come from a traditional nuclear family, I know they love me, and I love them back even if they get on my nerves. However, lately I have very distressed about myself. I feel like something is wrong with me.

I started thinking about my childhood and adolescent years this past month and a half, and I noticed that I truly was not happy and I think I have had the same problem for years. major problem: I have had and have difficulty connecting to people. Naturally, I’m introverted, which is OK, but again I don’t know why, but the harder I try, the same result appears.

I lack any close friendships that last. I really never had many because I moved around and changed schools quite a bit, but now I see that I hardly communicate with anyone from the last high school I attended, and I don’t know anyone in college. I’ve tried going to social activities like dancing and sports, but all I got was a temporary cure. Sometimes I feel like giving up and die alone.

Could there be something internally wrong with me? Is there anyone like me? Could it be something like a muscle that never developed? Is there something that repels people from me? How does something like this happen?

A. It may be that you are having difficulty adjusting to a new living situation. You cannot overlook the fact the you recently left high school and began college. You’ve essentially only been in your new living situation for a few months. It takes time to make new friends.

I am not surprised that you are barely communicating with your high school friends. Often, high school friendships are based on convenience. In other words, when it is convenient to be friends ( i.e. because you’re attending the same school or living in the same neighborhood), the friendship flourishes. Friendships based on convenience often dissolve once the “friends” no longer see each other on a regular basis.

Many people feel lonely and even depressed when they leave their family and begin college. To answer your question directly, yes, many people feel the same way you do when they leave home. Adjusting to a new living situation can be difficult. It is normal to feel the way that you do.

I would recommend seeing a mental health professional. Utilize the counseling center services on campus. Meeting with a mental health professional could provide an objective opinion about your situation and provide much-needed support during this difficult time. In addition, your college counseling center may have support groups for students having similar readjustment difficulties. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 Jan 2012

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2012). Something Socially Wrong with Me?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/01/25/something-socially-wrong-with-me/