How Can I Heal My Friendship?

By Julie Hanks, LCSW

I have a friend that I care deeply for. Over the last two years since she has known me I know that I have emotionally been dependent on her. I haven’t been as bad at this as I have been in the past but now she has let me know that she doesn’t want any contact with me. I know without much background information it would be hard to answer this question. I have been told that I do have some traits of Borderline Personality Disorder and I do recognize that I have fears of abandonment, right now it’s a fear of her abandonment of the friendship. We do go to the same church so I do see her there. I want to heal this relationship but not sure how. I want to respect her wish to not have contact with me but I would do anything to help heal this relationship.

A: Thank you for writing in. What a difficult situation to find yourself in. You are being faced with the very thing that you are afraid of. This “time out” from your friendship can be an opportunity for personal insight and growth. Please respect your friend’s boundaries and need for space right now while you take time to reflect and identify your emotional patterns that have pushed her away.

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Take good care of yourself,

Julie Hanks, LCSW

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Dec 2011

APA Reference
Hanks, J. (2011). How Can I Heal My Friendship?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/12/29/how-can-i-heal-my-friendship/