Is This Verbal Abuse?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

My ex-boyfriend and I have known each other for 13 years. At the beginning of this year we decided to try dating one another again after a 6 year break. About 6 months into the relationship his ex-girlfriend and mother of his children had a fourth child. After the birth she started harassing me and threatening me. When I went to him about it he blew it off causing us to end things. We tried to remain friends but every time I tried to go to him with problems he started to get verbally abusive. He has told me I’m worthless and will never amount to anything. I still love him and want to try and work through all this. Is it even worth the pain and heartache to try and change things?

A: I’d say not. And why would you want to work things through with a man who would leave young children and a newborn? My guess is that he is calling you the names that he thinks he himself deserves. You’ve known him since you were only 14. He’s still acting that age. It’s time for him to man up and take on his responsibilities. If and when he does that (which includes supporting his kids financially and emotionally), then he would be worth your time and your love.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 27 Dec 2011

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2011). Is This Verbal Abuse?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/12/27/is-this-verbal-abuse/