Don’t Want To Be Angry All the Time

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

i don’t know where it comes from, but i get angry all the time. i hate having big dinners with family, i hate being bothered by children, i get angry and impatient when people try to help me or tell me what to do. and afterwards my head hurts and all i want to do is sleep and do nothing. i can’t do the things i love, i get insecure and doubt myself. i become tired easily and just want to be left alone. my dad and I’s relationship is in the hole. we argue all the time over stupid things, it was to a point i moved out. i thought moving out would solve my anger problem but it hasn’t. when i’m alone i’m happy but people (family) judge me for being a loner and say it’s just depressing and sad. i have friends and get annoyed easily with them sometimes but at least the know when to back off. i have my good days but why am i so angry? it makes my head hurt and i hate myself for being angry all the time

A: It sounds to me like you might be depressed. Although the most common symptom of depression is sadness, there are people whose primary symptoms are anger and irritability. I’m very glad you decided to reach out for some advice.

As you’ve already found, moving out didn’t help. We all take ourselves wherever we go. You are no exception. Your dad is probably as frustrated with you as you are. Both of you are feeling helpless to help you. Getting mad feels better to many people than feeling hopeless but it doesn’t move things forward.

Most colleges have a mental health clinic available to students. I suggest you start there. Get an evaluation and suggestions for how to get on the road to feeling better so that you can enjoy your time in college. An evaluation will only take an hour or so of your time. You aren’t obligated to take the counselor’s advice. But you may find that the support and practical advice are just what you need to start turning this around.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Dec 2011

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2011). Don’t Want To Be Angry All the Time. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/12/07/dont-want-to-be-angry-all-the-time/

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