I was raped and physically abused my entire life by my step dad. I put him in jail about a month ago, but somehow I miss him and feel like this is all my fault. My mom loved or loves him and is so upset with me for what I did. She doesn’t even believe me. I have a 4 year old beautiful baby girl named Allissen. And am currently 6 months expecting twin girls. I don’t know what to do. Should I drop the charges? Bit if I do. I don’t want my beautiful little girls to be hurt the way that I was my entire life. I don’t ever want to have them cry themselves to sleep. What do I do?
A. It is not uncommon for victims of physical or sexual abuse to feel the way that you do. That is an issue that can and should be addressed in counseling.
To answer your question directly, no, you should not drop the charges. The main reason for not dropping the charges is that he may physically or sexually abuse your children or other children. He has a history of abuse. That you know with certainty. You cannot risk the possibility that he would abuse your other children.
What you need now most of all is support. Your mother does not support you. In fact, she doubts your accusations. Her lack of support is likely a major contributing factor as to why you would consider dropping the charges against your stepfather.
We are a nation of laws. If he is guilty of breaking the law, then it is only fair that he pay the price dictated by the law.
Sexual abuse of a child is always wrong, regardless of any and all circumstances.
I would highly recommend counseling or joining a support group. Here’s a link to a website called the Adult Survivors of Sex Abuse. On their website you can find many resources and links to local survivor groups in your community.
In addition, consider seeing a therapist. A therapist could help you to deal with the aftermath of the abuse. If not for yourself, then do it for your children who need a healthy and stable caregiver. Please take care.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 4 Dec 2011
Randle, K. (2011). Sexually Abused: Should I Drop The Charges?. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 17, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/12/04/sexually-abused-should-i-drop-the-charges/