Parents’ Divorce Is Really Hard for Me

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

my mom and dad recently got a divorce. I have been going to therapy to help with the issue, but its not working.
my dad is being really terrible to my mom and laughing at her when he sees her. He also texts her about his new “sex life”.
I recently got diagnosed with a depression dissorder. My mom doesnt believe i have it though. She thinks its all “in my head”. Thats the problem though , its too in my head. Its gotten to the point where at least once a day i think about suicide
i wanna get away. This place is driving me insane. I hate my dad with a passion now and i dont know what to do about everything.i feel lost & alone.
please help.

A: I’m terribly sorry for all you’ve gone through recently. I’m very glad you’re in therapy. I wonder, though, if you are telling your therapist everything you told me. Therapy only “works” when the client is as open and honest about what’s going on as they can be. I know it’s hard to do that. I understand there are things you’d probably like not to talk about. But therapy is the “talking cure.” It’s talking things out that will help you out of your depression. If you haven’t told your therapist everything, you could start by just showing her the letter you sent to us.

On the other hand, if you have been open with your therapist and it still isn’t working, it might be time to try out something different. It might be helpful to move into some family work. Your therapist can help you explain to your mom that you aren’t making this up. She can also help you tell your dad how much his behavior is affecting you and what it is doing to your relationship with him. The therapist’s job is to make it possible for people to share their feelings and to begin to work through some of the hurt and anger. She might also be able to get your folks to understand that they need to keep you out of their issues with each other. Please talk to your therapist about bringing your parents into some of your sessions.

In the meantime, if you need someone to talk to when you’re feeling down, you can call the Boys and Girls Town Hotline. Counselors are there 24/7 to talk to teens when life seems overwhelming. The number there is 800-448-3000. It’s free and confidential.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 3 Dec 2011

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2011). Parents’ Divorce Is Really Hard for Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/12/03/parents-divorce-is-really-hard-for-me/