Moving on After a Bad Childhood

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

My mother once told me I never cried as a baby, so she forgot to feed me or change my diapers sometimes. My theropiet my I was a teen said that she thinks I didn’t cry because I knew no one would come anyway.

I have learned that for a month during my infancy she left me and my older sister alone with our father and didn’t plan on coming back.

She always treated me like all her problems her my fault. Even blamed be for her mutable marriages failing.

She and wich ever man happen to be around at the time always treated my sister like she was a prefect child and me like I was the devil child.

She even told me she hated me once.
She kicked me out of the house once and sent me to a group home. And tried her hardest to not let my father take me out of there.
Thank god she failed at that.
She convinced me everything would be better if I can home from my dads after about 1 year and half (of which time she didn’t speak to me at all)
but weeks after moving back she moved in with her boyfriend an hour away. leaving me with her cruel her room-mate.

Anyway as you can tell my childhood was not a fun time for me, my question is how to I pick up the peaces of myself and move on from all this?

A. Self-blame is a common reaction among individuals who have been neglected or abused by their parents or caretaker. Those individuals may even come to the conclusion that they deserved the abuse because they, in essence, are “a bad person.” That line of thinking can contribute to low self-esteem and the belief that an individual is unworthy or unlovable. Subsequently, that negative view of the self can lead to depression and other mental health problems.

It is important that you realize that the way your mother treated you is a reflection of her and not a reflection of you. No child deserves to be abused. Her actions and her words hurt you as a child but you are no longer a child. It is now incumbent upon you to live your own life, apart from your mother, no matter how she treated you.

The job of each young adult is to break free from their parents and to live their own lives.

The most efficient way to deal with your issues is to go to counseling. Counseling is the ideal environment to explore your issues in depth. I would highly recommend it. The find help tab, at the top of this page, can help you to locate a therapist in your community. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle
@DrKRandle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 10 Nov 2011

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2011). Moving on After a Bad Childhood. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/11/10/moving-on-after-a-bad-childhood/

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