Relationship Crisis

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I recently found some of my fiances emails that were very upsetting. He was looking on Craigslist for one night stands. I confronted him but he said he was doing it for work. He is an internet marketer and he is trying to sell products on dating sites. I don’t know if i should believe him.

We are supposed to get married in 5 weeks. I don’t know what to do. I m very confused. I want to call off the wedding if he is cheating.

A: Whether or not he is cheating, you should rethink whether you want to marry. If you don’t know if you can believe him, you don’t have the trust that is the foundation of any good relationship. It’s unfair to you both to go into a marriage this way. You don’t want to spend your life always second guessing and doubting. He doesn’t want to spend his life living with your suspicions and fears. Distrust will shadow every interaction you have with each other.

As hard as it will be, I think you should consider at least postponing the wedding until you both are sure that the other is a person you can count on to be faithful and truthful.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Oct 2011

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2011). Relationship Crisis. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/10/28/relationship-crisis/