Commitment Issue

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I have an adorable little girl that is 2 and a half. She has known my boyfriend since she was 6 months old. I love him very much but I find myself to be bored. We never have anything to talk about, and he just isn’t as interested in me as he used to be. I find myself slowly detaching from the relationship. Both of us have a lot going for us. Our families both love us and expect us to have a future, they would be shocked if me and him break up. I want to be with him but not right now. Its like he came in my life to soon. I’m also his first and only girlfriend he has ever had, which he is not experienced with relationships and coping with them. I feel like I’m the bad guy slowly ripping out his heart because I do not want to be with him, yet I do. I’m so confused.

A: It would be worse not to tell him your feelings and to be only partially in the relationship. You trying to spare him is likely to hurt both of you. I would have an honest talk with him. He deserves to be in a relationship with someone who is in love with him, not bored and just tolerating the relationship.

Have the talk, and if need be see a therapist together to help with the transitions with your daughter. The find help tab at the top of the page will get you to someone in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Oct 2011

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2011). Commitment Issue. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 31, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/10/24/commitment-issue/