My boyfriend started to act distant

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

My boyfriend is 34. I am 18. We have recently moved in together. Yesterday, his ex girlfriend called him and wanted to come back. He told her he has a girlfriend who he is very happy with. She hung up. He told me this hurts him because he usually takes her back. she has done this about 6 times before i came along.
But he DID choose me. But now hes acting kind of distant from me. He doesnt seem happy. and he talks about her a lot. He told me he loves me and would never choose her over me. but I have this feeling he wants her.
Im not sure how im feeling. Its to the point where i feel uncomfortable leaving the house because Im scared hes going to call her. or if i stayed the night with a friend, he might have her over. I know this is unhealthy. thats why i want to get your opinion on the situation. am i just being insecure and feeling threatened?
How do I get over the way im feeling? how do i get the old him back?
Im hurt. I love him with all my heart and couldnt imagine being without him, but at the same time, if i just left i could save myself all this hurt. :(
what do i do?

A: Are you just insecure? No. You’re with a man who is playing games with the hearts of two women. He hasn’t chosen either of you. You can’t make someone love you. You can’t make him be faithful to you by constantly monitoring him. Save yourself a lot of heartache by cutting your losses. You don’t want to be his next yo-yo girlfriend. You deserve better.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 27 Sep 2011

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2011). My boyfriend started to act distant. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 18, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/09/27/my-boyfriend-started-to-act-distant/