Black Sheep of the Family

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Not that it really matters but I am starting to feel like a outcast in my family and I am the eldest child out of my other siblings. I feel that my parents have picked out their favorites and have sorta left me to the slaughter. I come from a good family and I am a good person have really done no wrong to no one just typical things that people do in life.

I don’t go around my family as much as I use to I can count on one hand how many times I visited my parents this year alone and we do reside in the same state. I do feel bad about this at times however I’ve come to realize that less time with family means less pain for me. I hate how I’m treated!!! I am just a no one to them, my mother calls me sometimes but not the way she calls my sisters, its like she has to force herself to call me. I am a good person!! Why cant they love me like they love and treat my other siblings? I just want to fit in I want to feel right. Will I always feel like the black sheep or be treated as such because I am not as bright/smart as the others?

I am currently on zoloft generic brand but I don’t feel its working I’m thinking of getting on the brand name zoloft because the generic brand may not be working for me. Is there a difference?

A. It is unfortunate that your family treats you badly but there may be little that you can do to change this. It might be best to continue to limit your interaction with them.

If I had the opportunity to interview you, I would want to know if you ever discussed your feelings with your family. If not, one option might be to tell them how you feel. They may not be aware of how you feel. Perhaps bringing it to their attention might help. If you don’t feel comfortable having an in-person discussion with them, consider writing them a detailed letter.

An important part of human development is becoming your own person. For some people, this can mean estrangement from their families. That can be an undesirable path but in some cases it is necessary for healthy psychological development.

It is important that you do not misinterpret the meaning behind your family’s actions toward you. In other words, the way they treat you is not a reflection of you. Rather, it is a reflection of them and the psychological problems that they may have. Their unresolved psychological problems might prohibit them from fully appreciating you or may limit their ability to express their feelings.

With regard to your medication, there could be a difference between the generic version of Zoloft and the name brand. Consult your doctor for further details. Switching medications might improve your symptoms.

If you continue to struggle with this problem, I would highly recommend consulting a therapist. A therapist could assist you in facilitating a discussion with your family. A therapist could also help you to navigate your family situation. Take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 13 Sep 2011

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2011). Black Sheep of the Family. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/09/13/black-sheep-of-the-family/