I I am from Korea, Seoul and I have been on medication for my psychological reasons. I tried to suicide less than twice and I have been always the one who has a lot of suicidal tendencies. However, my only brother did it last year. Sometimes when I think about past with him, I can’t help myself from the urge to kill myself. Even now, the only reason I am alive is because of rest of my family. my sister and mom saw him and I saw only pictures from detective office. It looked painful and I can’t forget his purple fists.
I gotta live only for my family because I don’t want to give the pain as we got from my brother. I got diagnosed to have Bipolar I, depression, ADHD, anxiety disorder. and recently I think I might have border line of schizophrenia due to my thought, images, and also the way how I understand whatever other people say.
I really need your help so that I can be alive for my rest of family. is there any way for you to give me any advice?
A. I am sorry for the loss of your brother. I can imagine how difficult this time in your life has been for you. The fact that you have attempted suicide, are currently considering it and have a family history of suicide, is concerning. Those variables put you at risk for suicide.
You stated that you are taking medication for psychological reasons but you did not mention counseling. Medication alone is often not enough to treat psychological problems. Counseling is an important aspect of treatment. Counseling could also greatly assist you in appropriately grieving the loss of your brother.
Studies of suicide survivors have shown that the decision to end their lives was not well-planned. Those decisions were often made impulsively. If you feel that you might harm yourself, it is imperative that you go to a hospital. The hospital can protect you from making an impulsive decision.
Suicide survivor research also has shown that the majority of individuals who had survived their suicide attempt, never truly wanted to die. They were thankful to have survived. Those individuals were suffering and they often lacked the necessary coping skills to deal with difficult life situations. I believe, at least in part, this is the case with you.
It is important that you talk to your parents about getting into counseling. You should also consider joining a suicide survivors support group. Go by yourself, attend group meetings with your family or do both. Survivor groups can be tremendously helpful. Here is a link to a website where you can find a list of support groups in your community. Here is an additional link to a resource page where you can find related websites.
It is imperative that you speak to your parents or to your prescribing physician about your suicidal thoughts. If you feel that you can’t protect yourself, then you must go to the hospital or call 911. The phone number to the suicide helpline is 800-273-8255. Do not hesitate to call if you are feeling overwhelmed.
Help is available. Please be willing to accept it. If not for yourself, do it in honor of your brother and for the sake of your family who would be immensely devastated by the loss of another beloved family member. Please take care.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Aug 2011
Randle, K. (2011). Urge For Suicide And Suicidal Images And Thoughts. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/08/29/urge-for-suicide-and-suicidal-images-and-thoughts/