Relationship stress sometimes makes me physically sick

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I don’t know what to do, my boyfriend sometimes makes me so mad, or stresses me out so bad, that I get physically sick, I throw up, I cry, I can’t eat for days with out puking… I don’t know what to do about this… I love him SO much, and that’s why he gets to me so bad… :( I don’t like this happening… the first time it was because he had to leave me at my moms for a few days cuz of his job he had to be gone for a while… I got SO sick… it usually happens when we get into a fight though… even though we fight over stupid crap, I STILL get so hurt and upset over it, sometimes I can’t even sleep because of it… I don’t like this happening, and I wish I could get a grip… what can I do to not have this happen again?

A: It sounds painful. The easiest way I can answer this is to say that too much of your life is absorbed in your relationship. I would encourage you to develop more and separate interests from your boyfriend. A good relationship involves a me, a you, and an us. It sounds to me as though there isn’t enough you in this relationship.

Everything can’t revolve around how you feel about him. It puts too much emphasis on the relationship and not enough on your growth and development. If you have more interests in your life it will soften the struggle for intimacy and help you cope when the inevitable stressors in the relationship bubble up.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Aug 2011

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2011). Relationship stress sometimes makes me physically sick. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/08/26/relationship-stress-sometimes-makes-me-physically-sick/