My girlfriend thinks she is always pregnant

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

I have been dating my gf for 8 months now and we havent been sexually active but we do stuff like exploring one another, she is also still a virgin. On april 15 this year we were doing stuff and she
Happened to seat on me while we were naked, no sperms came out nor did i insert my penis into her vagina little did i know this was the beginning of a long pregancy on her mind. She was last for a period that month and she started to think she was pregnant so we bought pregancy tests over and over and they all showed negative she relaxed and then got her period, it was a relief for the time. Then she started been late on periods and started panicking again this made me buy her pregancy tests over and over again and results were also negative, we went to the doctors and they told her she wasn’t pregnant, she couldnt even do a pap smear because it was so tight, her stomach started growing big now she thinks she is pregnant again, i took her to do two ultra sounds and all said she wasnt pregnant, i told her she is gaining weight and not eating healthly, she thinks am crazy and that we don’t believe her,even the doctors. She doesn’t want to have a baby dats for sure so anytime this comes up she wants to do an ultra sound and i don’t have the money to be doing everytime, she says her heart skips a beat when she is stressed nowdays and also says i should just leave her alone but i know she doesn’t mean it and dats why i just keep going with her, we relationship isnt fun so much, we haven’t had sex and she also thinks she is pregnant whenever she is late on her period and with the stomach growing big she is so conviced. She doesn’t want to go to her doctors anymore nowdays always wants to visit the abortation clinic to do blood work and ultra sounds…..i think she is delusional..i just don’t know and last week she said she something was kickng in her stomach…..i just dnt know what to do.

A: What a stressful, difficult time you’re having. I’m so sorry. Love should be sweet and comforting and fun, not like this. It sounds to me like your girlfriend has very conflicted feelings about being sexual at all. Her fears of pregnancy may well be grounded in guilt that she is even exploring sex with you. She wants to be close. She has normal feelings. But then the guilt sets in and she gets so anxious she can’t think straight.

Your girlfriend doesn’t need any more ultrasounds. She does need to see a counselor. Her anxiety is depriving her of enjoying her relationship with you and being comfortable with her own sexuality. If she won’t go to a counselor alone, go as a couple. With a counselor’s help, you can learn some new ways to comfort her and to help her be more relaxed about sex.

Meanwhile, take a big step back in how intimate you are with her. She is too fearful to be nude or to participate in mutual sexual exploration. Stick with kissing and hugging until she gets the help she needs. As frustrating as that may be, it’s better than what you’ve been going through.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Aug 2011

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2011). My girlfriend thinks she is always pregnant. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 21, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/08/24/my-girlfriend-thinks-she-is-always-pregnant/