My boyfriend of 5 months and I are both single parents and meet about once a week. When we meet, it is always amazing. However, I start feeling a bit insecure when we are not together because the way we communicate has changed over the course of time… and we’ve been talking less and less on the phone. We used to talk a couple of hours twice or thrice a week (plus texts and emails) and now it is down to half an hour to 40 minutes twice a week (no texts and emails). More than the length of the call, what bothers me is that he has pushed the time he calls to almost close to 11 p.m. and seems very tired when we talk. The change is mostly his doing. Is he just being a guy? Or should I be worried? Should I try to talk to him about this?

A: Of course you should talk to him. How else are you going to figure this out? There’s no reason to torture yourself by trying to be a mind-reader. Open communication is essential for any relationship to have a chance. It could be that the initial attraction is leveling out to something quieter but still important. Or he could be distracted by work projects. Or he could have lost interest.

I trust that at 36, you can handle a conversation. If he’s still interested but tired, over-worked or distracted, you need to know so you can be supportive. If he has lost interest but hasn’t wanted to hurt you by telling you so, you need to know so you can stop wasting your time and your heart.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Aug 2011

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2011). Is he being a guy or is he losing interest in me?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/08/08/is-he-being-a-guy-or-is-he-losing-interest-in-me/