My parents won’t listen to me

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My parents think that something is severely wrong with me, I’m constantly trying to tell them what by dropping hints. The thing is my parents and I have a small past of mistrust, me being the liar. Right now however I’m not doing anything wrong except being the loser my dad sees me as. I’m 16 years old and I’m completely and utterly depressed. One day I could wake up indifferent and suddenly I don’t want to get up or move just stare at my roof. You probably know how it works, my problem however is that not only can’t I tell me parents; I can’t make them understand it either. For them talking to someone solves the problem and I’ve been trying that for the past 2 years! I want them to understand that talking won’t help me anymore, but I don’t know how to tell them it’s not really my mother who is even the issue since she’ll believe me if I give her enough proof and point out the obvious, it’s my dad… He tells me almost every time he sees me that something isn’t making me tick like everyone else, and I’m fine I’m happy actually that I think and react differently to what others do, but when I try to suggest something he’ll say poppycock and go back to whatever he was doing before… I don’t know how to make them both understand.

A: It is clear from your writing that you are not happy and that you need to find a way to feel better. What isn’t clear from your email is if you are seeing a therapist for talk therapy. If you were, then I would encourage you to talk to that person about the need for medicine. Sometime the conditions of a depression need to shift with a combination of talk therapy and medical intervention. An evaluation for an antidepressant may be important for you to have.

If you are not seeing a therapist then I would encourage you to go to your school guidance counselor and speak with him or her about the need to talk to someone and get a medical evaluation. By the way, that might actually get your parents’ attention — to let them know you want to get a physical to see exactly what the concern might be. Many other medical concerns can cause a depression, and once you are in front of a physician you can let him or her know.

You need to honor yourself by finding a way to get your needs met. I hope these suggestions help.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Jul 2011

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2011). My parents won’t listen to me. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/07/26/my-parents-wont-listen-to-me-2/