Losing Emotions/Feelings

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Over the past few months it feels like I have been losing my emotions. Music that once made me so happy now does nothing for me and things I used to care about don’t seem to matter anymore. I am finding this very distressing as I want to be a musician, but the things I used to really enjoy, like playing jazz, aren’t making me happy now. I am in my last year of school so I thought it might be due to exhaustion or stress, but I’m feeling even worse right now during the holidays. Could it be loneliness? I know this affected me earlier in the year. I would like a girlfriend, but for various reasons I keep telling myself that it wouldn’t work. I say things like ‘I’m too busy’ and a whole bunch of other reasons (or perhaps excuses?) that stop me from getting into a relationship.
Thank you for your help.

A: You are on the cusp of forming your identity, a daunting task for all of us, and my guess is that as you are ending your high school experience and moving toward the unknown there is a concern about your future. Very natural. Very understandable.

There are three things that I would suggest. First I think you need to have a plan about what you want to do over the next year. What kind of experiences and education do you want to have? If you are planning on being a musician you will need a plan about how to grow into your profession. Who will you learn from, what instruments do you want to play? Who do you want to play with?

Secondly, you need to broaden your circle of friends. The more connections you have at this time in life (indeed, at all times in your life) the happier and better off you are likely to be. Make new friends and do new things with them.

Third, don’t wait for things to get worse. If you do not feel better within a month I would make an appointment with a therapist to assess what your situation is, and what possible options are available to help you feel better. The find help tab at the top of the page will connect you to someone in your country.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 17 Jul 2011

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2011). Losing Emotions/Feelings. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 20, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/07/17/losing-emotionsfeelings/