My dad won’t stop lying to me

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My dad won’t stop lying to me and the rest of the family. It has gotten to the point where he lies instantaneously, without thought. My mom said he has been lying for years, but I didn’t see it until recently. I can’t trust him anymore. He also steals, and is cheating on my mother. We caught him, and said he was threw with her, but he still calls her. He has just been very suspicious.

A: If you are certain of all of this then the work for you at age 21 is to detach from your father and do what you can to protect yourself from him emotionally and financially. Detaching means doing so with compassion. Whatever ailment your father has — his lying is an effort to cope. You do not need to use anger nor confrontation to deal with him. But rather detaching from him and beginning to make your own way would be optimal.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 5 Jul 2011

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2011). My dad won’t stop lying to me. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/07/05/my-dad-wont-stop-lying-to-me/