Dad being inappropriate with daughter

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

so my dad has anger issues. When he gets mad he yells loudly and then sometimes he throw things. He grounded me because I didn’t know if I had the socks that he bought. Also once he recorded me while I was using the bathroom. I was reading while I using the restroom. And he thought it was funny to record me. I feel very uncomfortable when I am around him. Sometimes I have dreams that he will rape me. I just do not like my dad. He gives me no privacy when I am in my room. He just walks right in. Also he says the most disgusting ever. Its always about something sexual which is so nasty. He thinks its funny and then when i say something about it. He starts cussing or gets mad. I just hate living with him.

A: I’m very glad you wrote. Your dad has more than anger issues. He is being highly inappropriate with his 16-year-old daughter. You have gone from being his little girl to being a young woman. It sounds to me like he is having trouble remembering that since he is your father there are important boundaries for privacy he needs to respect. Talk to your mother immediately. It is absolutely not okay for him to be recording you, to be walking into your room without knocking, or to be saying sexual things to you. If she isn’t responsive, talk to another adult you trust who can have a sitdown with your dad and explain the rules for being the father of an adolescent daughter. If there’s no one else, consider talking to your school counselor. This has got to stop. You (and every girl) deserves to feel safe in her home.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 16 May 2011

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2011). Dad being inappropriate with daughter. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/05/16/dad-being-inappropriate-with-daughter/