My Parents Want me to Die

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Why are my parents saying they want me to die and leave me? everyday i come from school all we do at my house is argue about every little thing my mom is mean to me i feel like bursting into tears but i dont i keep it in. i have really good friends that had told me to avoid me expressing my anger on her and etc. but im just thinking i might be bi polar in a way? sometimes when im arguing with my parents its so hard for me to take the things they tell me. i get so depressed but dont show my emotions they say i have no heart and they dont want me they want me to leave forever.

Eventually i did runaway one time and it did not end good at the end when i came back the next school day i thought they would apoligize to me and say sorry but all they did was say ” ugh your such a dumbass why did u come back” makes me want to run away for good and never come back since thats what they really want. I really want help i want to be a good daughter to them i just dont no how to control my anger because with every little thing i start getting mad i try to improve my actions but nothing helps i told my parents if they want me to stop yelling and getting anger they should take me to a therapist but they get more mad! Its just the fact that they seriously dont want me and makes me not want to live no more .): Please help! i just dont know what to do in this situation of my life

A: This is way too big a problem for a 13-year-old to handle on her own. Please think hard about what adult in your life might be able to help your parents understand that you and your family need help. You don’t know how to manage your anger. Your folks don’t know how to manage you. Everyone is getting frustrated and discouraged – so much so you are all ready to give up on each other.

You’re clearly a sensitive and caring person. You’re right that what’s needed here is some therapy. I suggest you think about talking to your school guidance counselor, your religious advisor, a trusted teacher, or the parent of a good friend. You will know who your parents just might listen to. Ask that person to help you tell your parents the things you talked about in your letter. When you do talk with your parents, work extra hard not to get angry but rather to express your sadness and pain. Also have on hand some phone numbers for a local mental health clinic.

If your parents refuse to get involved with therapy themselves, ask again for help finding someone to talk to. Tell your parents that you aren’t interested in blaming and being angry but that you want to learn how to handle your anger and express your feelings appropriately. Sometimes when one person in a family starts therapy and starts showing some results, other people in the family get interested in doing it too.

Meanwhile, live as healthy a life as you can. Get involved with activities where you will meet people who are likely to become good friends. Eat right. Make sure you stay active. Believe it or not, dressing well will also help you feel better about yourself each day. Do these things as a statement that you value yourself – even if some other people don’t. That atttitude will help you attract the kind of friends who can be there for each other.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 17 Mar 2011

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2011). My Parents Want me to Die. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/03/17/my-parents-want-me-to-die/

Want a more immediate answer from others like you?
Use your Psych Central account in our self-help support community.

Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter


Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code