I love my boyfriend, but I don’t want to have sex anymore

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year now, and we started having sex three months after the start of the relationship. It’s been good all this time, but lately, for three months I don’t want to have sex, and feel bad having it. I love him, even though not as much as before, but I definitely don’t want to leave him for now. What’s wrong with me?

A: You list your age as 15 and that you are in the 10th grade. As you are experimenting with physical and emotional intimacy you will likely learn a lot about yourself and your needs. A big part of a relationship is not losing yourself to another person in the effort to attract their love. The teen years are the beginning of learning what your needs are, and what you can do to meet them. Perhaps the most important thing to do in this instance is ask yourself what it is that is making you feel bad, and what makes you feel safe.

You may want to talk to your guidance counselor at school, or try our free online forums. Don’t think about this as something being wrong with you; think about this as an opportunity to lean more about yourself.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 1 Mar 2011

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2011). I love my boyfriend, but I don’t want to have sex anymore. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 27, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/03/01/i-love-my-boyfriend-but-i-dont-want-to-have-sex-anymore/

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