How to Trust Life Again?

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I feel very lucky. I have lots of things I know many don’t. I have a roof over my head, food, friends, & family. Yet I always feel as if “Who am I to have all this and walk/drive right pass so many people who are just hungry and do nothing?” I used to have lots n lots of hopes and dreams. Now, I feel as if I don’t need any of those things nor do I want them.

So, now I’m stuck not wanting to do anything or go anywhere with my life. I don’t trust people’s intentions. I over think all the time. I don’t want any relationships. Its like Ive opened my eyes and now see all the BS in the world. And now I have no energy to play this game we call life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine with it (I think) I just don’t know where to go from here? I don’t have any medical insurance. I don’t want to take any happy pills. Please let me know if I sound like a “type of person?” I don’t understand me, Id like to learn about me. Please help me if you can. Thank you!

A. I would like to know more about you and your life circumstances. You are expressing a general dissatisfaction with life. You mention a lack of energy. You mention a lack of motivation. You mention no longer trusting people’s intentions. All of this can point to and can be consistent with depression. Of course, there could be many other causes and I would need the ability to question you and evaluate you in a clinical setting.

Age is a factor. Are you an older person who has simply resigned herself to the reality of life and the time limits of life? Are you a teenager, who is overwhelmed and afraid of all the anxiety the future may hold?

Do you have other emotional issues that have preceded your current feelings? Have you recently gone through a life trauma?

Are you taking any legal or illegal drugs? Are you taking steroids or hormone supplements? Are you using marijuana, whose principal side effect is a reduction in motivation?

How is your physical health?

How long has this been going on?

There are many, many questions that need to be answered. If you continue to feel this way, then you should seek the source of those feelings. No, it is not normal to feel the way you do. Most people do not feel as you do and by any definition of normal (cultural, statistical or theory-based), your feelings are not desirable or adaptive.

You should not simply accept those feelings. Not all feelings are legitimate. Even the terribly strong feelings of phobias are not legitimate. Agoraphobics, who are terrified to leave their home, experience severe overwhelming panic and fear. Their fear is not legitimate. Their feelings are too extreme for the actual danger that exists beyond their front door. Basically, we all face the same dangers in the world beyond our home and the level of fear and anxiety that we feel could be described as normal. It is much less intense than the agoraphobics and is roughly appropriate for the real dangers that exist out in the world.

Your feelings are not automatically correct. They may not be realistic. It would be a mistake for anyone to assume that their feelings are valid. They may be appropriate to your circumstances but they may be as invalid as those of the agoraphobic who is overwhelmed by the fear of what exists beyond his front door.

I would suggest you speak to a therapist to get an objective and professional opinion. Please take care and I wish you the best of luck.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Feb 2011

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2011). How to Trust Life Again?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/02/08/how-to-trust-life-again/