Good friends are hard to find

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

hello..im in a difficult situation and ont know what to do. well i met this guy a month ago and we have been talking. we got into some deep questions and he asked me if i liked him and i said yes in which i do and i asked him if he likes me and he said yes. and he had said i would be a future girlfriend of his. well the other day i had asked him if he would ever goout with me and his sister replies back saying hey sweetie this is matts sister and i have asked him who you are and i dont get in his business but i see what you just texted him and i just want to say he just wants to be friends with you and nothing else. he doesnt want to hurt your feelings. well i said no you didnt and she said ill get him to text you when he gets back from the store and he texted me and said my sister said you texted i said yea did she tell you what she said he said kinda what did she say and i told him and he said yea you are too young for me but im hoping you will still be friends with me. i said sure…but what i dont understand why would he hang out with me before and he kissed me and he said he liked me and all but when his sister asks who i am he just totally tells me he doesnt like me. and now he barely texts me anymore when we talked all the time before. i had saw him the halloween night with his sister and he just looks at me with the biggest grin on his face and i texted him and he never replied back until after he left his sisters house, he even showed me before his sister had gotten into this that he liked me you could just tell. and now he supposively has a girl that he spends all his time with after work and he dont text me barely anymore i have to text him first for him to text me back. please help me i dont know what to think or do.

A: A boy who isn’t mature enough to talk to you himself about wanting to just be friends isn’t mature enough to be going out with anyone. To his credit, he knew he should slow down. Now you should too. If you like him a lot, develop the friendship. Maybe it will grow into something more and maybe not but I wouldn’t throw away a friendship because of this. Good friends are hard to find. At 15, you have plenty of time to find a boyfriend.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 Jan 2011

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2011). Good friends are hard to find. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/01/08/good-friends-are-hard-to-find/