My dad abuses me

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I have been getting hit by my dad for as long as I can remember. It has been a really long time. He really ruins my life. I am so scared to be in my own house. He abuses me physically and mentally. He punches with full force, he gives me bruises, marks that last until the next day, he hits me with the belt, and today he threatened to break my neck. He almost strangled me. I don’t love him at all. I have no respect for him and he means nothing to me. We don’t have a good relationship, I don’t tell him anything. Even if I don’t do anything wrong he will find a way to make it seem like I did do something wrong and yell and me and hit me. I can’t take it anymore. Last week I almost told my school, I really want to but I’m scared because I still have to deal with living with him until I am a legal adult. I have pictures of it the marks and bruises he has given me. I lock myself in the bathroom whenever I get into fights with him or he hits me. I really don’t know what to do anymore. He scares me more than anything in this world. I don’t even want him to be my dad anymore. He says he wishes I was never born, I’m stupid, I am useless, there is nothing good about me, I am a devil, he wishes he never had me, I am the worst kid out of all 3. He also says “why did god curse me with you”. He really ruins my life. If he weren’t in my life, it would be amazing. I can’t be with him anymore. He is the worst father a kid could have. Please help me.

A: You are very brave and did the right thing by writing us here. I am so sorry you have to deal with your father’s abuse. You do not have to put up with this. You list your age as 14 and your father should not be beating you and saying these things to you. I believe you that these things are happening and you should know that you are protected by laws in your state if you are being abused and you can contact child protective services directly for help. If you need assistance in doing this you can ask a guidance counselor at your school or a trusted teacher to help you make the call. They are obligated to follow up on helping you when there are clear signs of abuse. Show them the pictures.

Here is the hotline number for your state 800-342-3720 and the link to their website. Know that you do not have to put up with your father’s violence. Talk to someone at your school today.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 4 Jan 2011

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2010). My dad abuses me. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 18, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/01/04/my-dad-abuses-me-2/