I am an only child and in my childhood and teen my mother always follow me and worried a lot about me. my father was an alcoholic and he never know me even he did not know my school or my problems. only things I remember of my father was fight with my mother and fight in street. so i shamed everywhere from them. my mother follow me at high school and my friend always lough at me. i am 45 now but i think i am not grown up. I never successful in any thing. I loose my wife and I loose all of job I started. my knowledge is very better than other people in my job (network) but nobody see me.
there is always an afraid in my heart and I don’t know why.
I have a 12 years daughter that i love her very much. I don’t want loose her like my wife.
please help me.
A. Maybe you have been successful in areas of your life but are not giving yourself due credit. Thoughts of depression can lead to tunnel vision. Also, it seems as though you might be blaming yourself for not being where you want to be in life. Your parents may have made mistakes during your childhood which have contributed to your life difficulties. You had no control over your childhood but you have the power to make changes as an adult. It’s never too late to improve your life.
It is important to try to change your mindset. Try to adopt a more positive view of yourself. A strength that you possess is your high level of knowledge. No one can take that away from you. It is a strength and personal quality that both you and your daughter can be proud of.
I would highly recommend working with a therapist to help you analyze what it is that you specifically want to improve in your life. A therapist can help you make those changes. He or she can also help to analyze your life situation. He or she can also advise you about how you can better interact with your peers, how to use your education to your advantage, better ways to hold onto a job, and how to build the relationship you wish to have with your daughter. You may also benefit from psychiatric medication. Hopefully you are able to access mental health treatment in your country. If not, I would suggest seeking help and guidance from your church or local ministry. Good luck. Please take care.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 22 Dec 2010
Randle, K. (2010). I’ve Never Been Successful. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 8, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/12/22/ive-never-been-successful/