I don’t feel okay
I have continually in my life felt depressed. I also have a history of drug use, I am an adut child of a parent with drug and current alcohol use. I usually feel lost, stuck, sad, meaningless, unimportant and as though life has no purpose. There are times where I feel good about myself for a while, but that is usually at the beginning of a relationship with a man and then I will usually end up either leaving him or sabotoging the relationship necause of my low self esteem. The depression seems to be getting worse. I use to be able to motivate myself with being productive and having hope for the future, but now I cannot even find that to be a good enough reason to do anything during the day. I have racing thoughts and either get too much or too little sleep but either way I always feel tired. I usually cannot keep friends for one reason or another. I am always living in the past and replaying memories in my head. I also daydream a lot either creating sceanarios that I know will not happen or could never happen. I have been in and out of therapy since I was 16 and I am in therapy currently. She says there is nothing wrong with me except maybe mild depression, but I don’t feel okay. Please help.
A: What you are reporting is consistent with a diagnosis of depression. Further, it is consistent with what many adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs) think and feel. Check out this website and see what you think.
I have to wonder if you are telling your therapist everything you have said in your letter. If your therapists haven’t been sophisticated in ACOA issues, that may be part of the reason that you still feel that you aren’t living life as you would like to be. However expertly they dealt with the depression, they may not have gotten to the root cause of it. Please talk to your therapist about this idea. Understand that I may be entirely off base. I’m going only by what is in a very short letter. But if I am right, it could lead you to more effective treatment.
I wish you well.
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2010). I don’t feel okay. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 12, 2016, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2010/11/21/i-dont-feel-okay/